Poor little rich girl

First we had this:

And Suri is a darling little girl who could, at first glance, totally pass for my own darling daughter, who is similarly sylphlike and similarly flowingly-tressed and similarly lots of things except for similarly shod. Because, I'm sorry, but those are totally real heels on a 3-year-old. 

When those pictures first made the rounds last fall I took a cursory peek and shrugged and said, "Well, they could be p'incess dress-up shoes a stubborn little girl refused to change out of, not that I would know anything about that." I actually didn't think so, they are not plasticy-looking or bedazzled enough to be little-kid dress-up shoes, but I guess it is possible that the rich, being different and all, have access to toddler toys we mere mortals are not only not able to afford, but are literally not allowed to know about. Hey, it could happen.

And then after enough sniping on the gossp sites and in the pages of the Huffington Post, Suri's mother bothered to make a public statement on Access Hollywood:

"She, like every little girl - she loves my high heels" and wanted her own," said Holmes.

She said despite the uproar, they are safe for her young feet

"They are actually ballroom dancing shoes for kids," Katie said. "I found them for her and she loves them."

Uh-huh. That would explain one pair of speshul shoes. It doesn't reall yexplain the first (obviously not ballroom dancing)  ones,above,  nor does it  answer for these:

Or any of this:

I do know exactly what a priss I am about this kind of thing, but that is not a child, it is a well-turned-out, somehwat flirtatious midget, or rather, Little Person. Or possibly a large and disconcertingly lifelike doll, and we know they make those. Even ignoring the rest of the outfit, we've now seen the poor mite out and about in heels often enough to feel safe in assuming that she wears them a great deal. Perhaps a pediatric podiatrist of some sort might be able to convince me with scientfic evidence that habitually balancing a preschooler on two-inch heels causes no harm to her feet, ankles, or lower back (although I doubt it). Nothing is going to convince me that it isn't harmful to her sense of herself as a child. Run free, Suri! Climb a tree! Ride a scooter! Don't just stand there waving to your admirers! You can get admirers later, preferably when you're old enough to actually do something that might earn you some. And you'll have plenty of time later to stand around looking self-conscious with one foot slightly turned out, wondering if you've got the position right.

No sir, I don't like it.